Sunday, February 5, 2012

Blog Post 2: Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts

The situation is:

Hillary is the Chairperson of her Aerobics club. Her position requires her to plan and organise events for the Aerobics members throughout the year, together with her committee. At the start of the year, Hillary had divided the events between herself and Max, her Vice Chairperson. This was to ensure that both of them had the opportunity to organise events but neither had a disproportionate burden. The major event of the year was the Aerobics Camp, which was the final event of the year. This came under the responsibility of Max.

One day, during a basketball game, Max sprained his arm severely. He was not allowed to take part in any strenuous activities for a period of time. Thus, he did not attend the regular Aerobics trainings or even committee meetings. Even after his arm was healed, his absence in Aerobics club activities continued due to his parents’ concerns and prohibitions.

Nevertheless, Max agreed to help organise the Aerobics Camp since he was in charge of it; but explained that he needed help from Hillary. He would be able to attend the Camp, but not participate in any vigorous activities. Hillary agreed and they started organising the camp.

As camp planning made a headway, Max started to slowly shirk his duties. He cited his other commitments and busier schedule as reasons. He had recently joined an external committee (outside of the club) to promote Aerobics to others, and was extremely involved in it. Three days before the Aerobics Camp, he claimed that he could not attend the Camp. Since the committee was particularly shorthanded at that time, Hillary really appreciated any sort of help that anyone could give. She was therefore disappointed when Max not only refused to fulfil his responsibilities as the Vice Chairperson, but also did not provide any help that he could afford to do.

What can Hillary do to resolve the situation while accommodating Max’s situation and ensuring that they end their tenure in the Aerobics Club committee with success and satisfaction of a job well done?

This was a real situation, but slightly simplified. One thing I noted was that knowing how the situation resolved, it was actually hard for me to write the story in an unbiased manner. I hope I managed to tell it accurately and neutrally. =)

8 comments:

  1. Hi Priya,

    I felt your post was slightly more sympathetic towards Hillary near the end of the story. I think the word "shirk" is pretty biased towards Hillary's point of view, and the word "claimed" to a lesser extent. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, apart from that, you did a great job of describing the situation and providing all neccessary information.

    Hillary should talk to Max personally to find out his exact reason for not being able to attend the camp. Face-to-face is important as Hillary would be able to tell, from Max's body language and tone of voice, if he is just making an excuse, or is genuine. Hillary should then implore Max to attend the camp anyway, perhaps by citing his crucial role as the Vice-Chairperson and/or certain skills that he can contribute. This is to try to make Max comfortable (or uncomfortable) so that he would be more willing to share his point of view. Finally, Hillary should slowly shift the subject to Max's involvement in the camp preparation after his injury. Hillary should explain how she felt that the effort he put in did not reach her expectations (after taking into consideration his injury), and she was quite disappointed. After allowing Max to justify his actions, she should explain the importance of responsibility and being aware of the effects of one's actions. This is to keep the argument objective so that Max would not take this issue personally. Hopefully, this would spur Max to reverse his decision on not attending the camp!

    Bokai

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    1. I also wanted to add that it is possible that Max could be losing interest in the NUS Aerobic club. By being absent from the Aerobics training and committee meetings due to his injury, he could become less bonded to the other club members. Next, he could also felt his inability to participate in vigorous activity as hindering his enjoyment during the camp and hence be less inclined to be involved in its planning. Lastly, he had joined another external Aerobics club which provided another outlet for his interests.

      As such, Hillary should try to make Max as welcomed as possible during the talk, and perhaps invite him out for a meal with the other club members to make him feel included.

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    2. Hi Bokai,

      Thanks for your suggestions!
      I agree that Hillary should talk with Max face-to-face since it will be easier to convince Max to come for the camp as well as to assess his true feelings then. It was great that you considered the point that Hillary should try to make Max as welcome as possible. Since Max only told Hillary that he couldn't come for the camp 3 days before it started, I think it is actually difficult to juggle interpersonal conflicts together with other stuff needed for camp planning. But I am sure that given time, it would have been the right way to go! =)

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  2. Hi Priya,

    Your post is very coherent and clear. I can understand what you are trying to convey. Great job :) !!

    With regards to your question, I think Hillary would need to calm herself down first, have a proper management of her feelings before acting or reacting (presuming that she is fuming about Max, from your tone of writing). This will minimize any wrong judgment made on Max as compared to Hillary confronting him in the fit of anger.

    Next, she should personally go and meet Max face-to face to find out his reasons for not able to turn up for the upcoming camp. I think by communicating with the other party, this will reduce any misconception or misunderstanding of the issue. Also, Hillary should try explain to Max her constraints in managing the camp without him. Of course, She should also show empathy to Max’s reasons and should be ready to make a compromise. For example, Max will still help out in the camp but not for the full duration.

    However, even if the discussion with Max fails to go through, Hillary should still remain positive with the upcoming camp because she had put in so much effort in organizing, she should just try to make the best out of what she can & get as much help as possible. Even if the outcome may not turn out to be ideal, at least she had gave her best.

    In short, I think the key point about the discussion between Max and Hillary is not about convincing Max to come back for the camp. I think it would be more important to let each other understand the other party’s needs and to prevent any unnecessary conflict arising from this. Ultimately, I believe Hillary can take this experience as a good lesson to be more independent and positive even when things go the other way.

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    1. Hi Yiqun,

      Thanks for your suggestions! They are very mature and thoughtful. In fact, your suggestions closely relate to what happened in the end! =) Max did come to help out for a short duration during the camp. Hillary did fume about the situation, but came out of the event, with greater understanding and tolerance for unexpected events.

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  3. You've done a very fine job of telling this compelling story in an unbiased fashion, Priya. (The errors in capitalization are minor.) I appreciate the fine detail you use in describing the conflict's context and the way that Max eventually shirked his duties. Your ideas flow well, being both cohesive and coherent.

    What I especially like is the way that you have posed the question, leaving the resolution of the conflict a mystery for us readers, even while it seems that you know. Thanks for that!

    You've also gotten good feedback. Thank you for the fine effort!

    Here are a few areas where your capitalization needs reviewed:

    1) Hillary is the Chairperson of her Aerobics club. >>> Hillary is the chairperson of her aerobics club. (Do you know the difference between a common noun and a proper noun? I think you and other students have problems differentiating. can you ask me about this in class, please?)

    2) Vice Chairperson >>> ?

    3) Aerobics Camp >>>> ? (Think of it through this example: You study at a world-class university, the National University of Singapore. Now, what's the difference between the two uses of university?)

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    1. Hi Brad,

      Thanks for your comments!
      I googled for the difference between the common noun and proper noun, and I realise what it means now. And the concept does sound familiar..but I think I had forgotten it.

      Shall certainly review my posts better! Thanks=)

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  4. Hi Priya,

    An interesting and yet, not uncommon, dilemma. I feel the considerable lack of sympathy towards Mark rather mystifying. Mark suffered a severe injury and still tried to shoulder his responsibilities. Hillary should have noted his diminished capacity after the injury and not have been so quick to lean on Mark for work. Instead a suitable replacement should have been found for Mark and his offer to help should have been accepted with a grain of salt.

    Now to the question at hand. Hillary will of course have to confront Mark as he has failed in his duties as vice-chairperson. It will be rather straightforward to highlight Mark agreeing to help despite his injury or his burgeoning schedule and as such Hillary should be able to get him to resign from the post without too much trouble.

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